Monday, March 08, 2010

Ask Mrs. Linklater "TATS ON YOUR BACK" Edition

Mrs. Linklater had hoped to announce that she had been chosen as one of the 4000 columnists at ChicagoNow, but, n-o-o-o-o, that's not going to happen anytime soon. Apparently she has to start posting in a more regular manner. More than every five weeks or so. Well, same to you, bitch. Geez. It sure ain't easy bein' me.
      But instead of crying in her Mrs. H.S. Ball's South African peach chutney, Mrs. Linklater will simply tough it out like the semi-professional she is. 
      Shake it off, Mrs. L. 
      All right, let's do this. Today Mrs. Linklater takes on Carolyn Hax who writes for the Washington Post. Ms. Hax is such a fancy advice maven that she also has her own "relationship cartoonist."  Who knew? Apparently he draws things that have no relevance to the advice Ms. Hax is handing out.
This seems to be an annoyed person checking the time. 

Dear Carolyn:
     Please help me figure out what to say to my sister, who got a tattoo yesterday. I have two myself, so I have no problem with tattoos. However, hers is HUGE. Big-black-lettering-on-her-back huge. I think it's awful but she loves it and keeps asking, "Isn't it great? Don'tcha love it?" My only response thus far is, "Wow, it's bigger than I imagined."
     Carolyn responds:
"You love it, right?" [She presumably says yes.] "Then that's awesome." Or, "It's a real statement." Or, "I love how happy you are."
Find a happy truth, then repeat as needed.

Mrs. Linklater steps up to the plate, takes a couple of swings and hits one out of the park:
     Ya know Carolyn, that advice just plain sucks. 

     Okay, we're done here. 

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