Last year Prudence was Ann Landers' daughter. Now she writes under her real name Margo. Apparently advice columnists don't fall too far from the tree. Based on her advice, Mrs. Linklater can confirm that Prudence is out of her tree.
Published November 10, 2005 SLATE online
My husband recently informed me that his friend is having a bachelor party in Vegas on our first wedding anniversary. He asked me to come along, but I feel infuriated and cannot believe he would even consider asking me to do this. I think it is inconsiderate. I feel our first wedding anniversary should be celebrated and honored—alone together—not with a bunch of drunken guys in Las Vegas.
Am I wrong to be angry? . . . I feel his doing this, along with some past actions (looking at girls on the Internet and on dating services) are huge red flags that I am not letting sink in. I need advice on what I should do, and what you think he is doing. I don't want to overreact.
—Wedding Belle Blues
What a guy ... so romantic and sentimental. But given that this is his idea of fun, accept the invitation and go to Vegas. It will shock his sox off. . . Granted, this is a counterintuitive move, but your "permission" to attend his buddy's party will give you good-sport points forever. Such a gesture on your part seems wiser than raising hell about his wanting to go. . . Prudie wonders about a guy married only a year who is looking at dating sites. You might want to discuss this with him, and ask him why. . .He sounds immature, at the very least.
Mrs. Linklater climbs on stage. Oh Prudie, hold my tassels will ya? They get in the way when I'm giving advice.
What's with the good sports points? For what? Hooker heels? Lap dances? Marriage isn't about keeping score. Although that romantic hubba bubba sounds like he wants to score with anyone but his wifey poo. Come on, Prudence, wake up and smell the urinal cakes, he is counting on her to bail on his invite.
Besides, do you really think his bachelor buddy will let any woman that resembles a wife near a single one of their all guy parties? No way a female is getting into those slimy soirees unless she's coming out of a cake or sliding down a pole.
So Miss First -- and it sounds like her Last -- Anniversary should just give her loved one a kiss and send him on his way.
Tell him with a smile that she knows what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Oh, and by the way, Sweetums, if you go to Vegas, stay in Vegas. Because this is no longer your home.
That ought to shock more than his socks off.
Okay, you can return Mrs. Linklater's tassels, now. They just started playing her song.