Ask Mrs. Linklater "SPACED OUT:" Edition

Before Mrs. Linklater reaches into her advice bag, she feels it necessary to explain the true meaning of an ON again OFF again boyfriend to this woebegone woman who thinks she qualifies as a girlfriend.

My dear, it goes like this: When he gets ON you, he's your boyfriend. When he gets OFF you, he's not. That's pretty much how it goes.

Meanwhile, Mrs. Linklater lets Advice Aficionada Amy explain what a "MySpace blog" is to the three people who don't know, before Mrs. L starts kicking ass and taking names.

Published January 30, 2006 Chicago Tribune

Dear Amy:
My on-and-off boyfriend of three years started a "MySpace" account about five months ago. . .Then, all of a sudden, MySpace took over his life and he started waking up immediately to log on. He had a slew of women he chatted with all day.

He met a 40-year-old woman who posted every thought that entered her head and every conversation she had into a blog -- and I was able to follow and track the progress of his relationship -- because it was all publicly posted.Of course, he and I are no longer seeing each other because I was devastated by the number and the depth of the lies he was telling me about his relationship with this woman -- even though each time he lied she would end up confirming what he had denied in her many blog entries.

Most important, I was unhappy with who I had become -- this insane voyeur logging onto MySpace each day to check up on my boyfriend. . .

What do you think of this?

-- MySpaced Out

Dear Out:
For people who don't know, MySpace.com is an online "community" of people who post their photos and life stories, build "friendships" and blog their days away. (A blog is a Web log -- an online diary.)

According to one recent estimate, there are more than 70 million blogs online around the world. As your letter points out, the virtues of life on the Web are also its deficits. People can easily meet and develop relationships, but the problem with developing relationships with strangers is that strangers have no reason to respect your privacy -- especially if you don't.
Your story is yet another reason why life online has become not only messy but also so boring. People who live a virtual life don't have actual experiences. Their blogs tend to reflect that. I can't understand why people are so hungry to share their every waking thought with the rest of the world -- and I certainly don't understand why people are interested in reading these musings, personal details and outright lies.


Mrs. Linklater reminds her dear readers, in case they haven't noticed, that she herself has an online blog. As a matter of fact, you're wallowing in it. So it should come as no surprise that Mrs. L takes exception to Amy's contention -- that people who live their lives online don't have a life. We just live ours sitting in a chair, wearing fuzzy slippers and sweat clothes covered in pizza stains.

As for actual experiences, besides using the bathroom, just ask anyone with a webcam how actual things can get. But we're not here to discuss Mrs. Linklater's idea of a good time, we're here to make fun of the girl who thinks she lost her boyfriend to the internet. When she really didn't have a boyfriend at all.

To quote Jerry Lewis -- HEY LAAAAAAA-DEEEEE!!!! If there weren't an internet, your alleged loved one would have been doing something else to get away from you -- watching porn, reading porn, renting porn, going out with the guys to porn shows. Always with the lies, lies and more lies until you said, okay and had sex with him. Again. Some things never change.

Meanwhile Amy, in her infinite wisdom, blames the internet for the demise of this attempt by a female to insure some domestic tranquility, when the truth is some loser guy was just treating a gullible girl the way they usually do -- badly.

Same old jokes. Different strokes.